The slave prayer

I recently assigned My beloved S to write his slave prayer. I instructed him to search others for some loose guidelines and to come up with his own version of it. My beloved S exceeded my expectations. When I read it I had tears in My eyes. I asked My slave if he was comfortable sharing it with everyone and he agreed.

Here it is.

My Daily slave Prayer to my Domina

In Her presence do i feel love.

In Her cage do i gain peace.

Through Her chains do i gain security.

Through Her discipline do i learn obedience.

Through Her humiliating me do i learn humility.

Through Her Protocols do i learn structure.

Through Her guidance do i mature.

Through Her pleasure do i know joy.

Through my submission my heart is forever collared to You my Domina.

i am but a mould. You are the sculptor. i give myself to You freely and completely to serve You as Your will demands.

i am Your loving slave. i love You with all my heart, body, and soul my Domina now and for all time.

 

 

This is deeply meaningful for me. My slave is to recite this every morning and every evening, right before he goes to sleep. At the moment, he is still learning it so he can complete the daily set of tasks and I hope it helps him in his submission to Me. Every day this style of relationship suits us. I’ve said this before. I don’t think I understood this lifestyle as completely as I do now. The more he has been submitting the happier he has been with much of his life. We are both at ease. This prayer is one of the many symbols of his submission to Me.

What about it do I love?

I love how he wrote it. I love how it is personalised for us and our M/s relationship.

I love reading it.

I go over it and think more on it.

I was thinking about writing an Owner’s promise to him. It isn’t something I have heard of before. Yet I think it would be inspiring for Me to keep seeing it regularly.

I have more inspiration for more blog entries.

Why does this always come during uni time? lol

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You know, I coooould dominate you……

I’ve got to stop with these clickbait subjects. Seriously, break my fingers.

Part of being a switch (or even a Domme) is the people who try to sneaky weasel themselves in to try to dominate you. Usually these people are male although there is a female variety, too. Sometimes they’re experienced or they have discovered this side of their kink and haven’t quite learned that they are not entitled to everyone’s submission.

Do they not realise that not only is it cringey as fuck but causes them to look so insecure with their dominance that they need to try to spread it where it is a) not wanted, b) not needed, and finally, c) no, get the fuck out, Jeff.

** Note. I’m not targeting any Jeffs.

 

There was some general conversation before this. Nothing of note and most of this is paraphrasing, but anywho.

Douchey Dom: You know, I could dominate you in a scene. In fact we could have it right now.

Me: I only sub to My beloved S (or s).

Douchey Dom: Ah.. well, I see you still sub. I’m available whenever you’re free. I have some free time right now.

Me: I’m not interested and I made it clear that I wasn’t.

Douchey Dom: Oh I know, I’m offering and I hope you will reconsider. I have a fully stocked dungeon and I think you will make a delicious sub.

Me: ….. Are you serious? I politely declined twice. I’m not interested. I will never sub to you. Your hints are pathetic, and need to stop.

Douchey Dom: Why are you being so mean to me? I only asked. You don’t have to be such a bitch. You are fake! -insert four paragraphs of more angst and whining than an emo kid back in the day on their myspace-

^^ This gif looks so much like one of them. I had to post it.

 

Here are other reactions that are fitting. This also seems to be a feature in modern dating, too. Can’t people grow the fuck up for two minutes?

(Yes, I want to use some gifs. I can’t help myself.)

 

 

 

Why do people not respect boundaries or value friendships or simple discussions about BDSM? If someone can’t accept a polite declination, how the fuck are they going to handle a scene negotiation? Conversations on limits? Understanding of aftercare and support?

There are good people out there.

But fucks sake, you need to sift through the crap to find them sometimes.

Reflection: My understanding of submission.

I love to sit and reflect on the past.

I probably do it too often. It can’t hurt to look back and see how far I have come. I talked with my S about things the other day. One of the things that stood out to me was how I viewed submission, and how it was beneficial. I didn’t realise that former me even really had this bias. However, I totally did.

A part of me wondered why S craved and needed it so badly. Even when I took ownership of him, a part of me still wondered whether this was a good thing for him. There were times when I even wondered whether I could do it.

Submission is what he needs.

He is submissive.

It is where his soul is happy.

It is where he is happiest. It is, well, it where his soul is where it is supposed to be.

This isn’t for everyone. No-one should be pressured into submitting to someone they don’t want to. It also brought up how I viewed my Domination. I’m happier when I am in the Dominant role within a relationship. It is where I am happiest and strongest. Besides not being ready. I think that was a lot of issues with my previous relationships. Although that is another large and ranty blog about a range of things, lol.

Being vulnerable to your partner is not a sign of weakness. I love when we switch although this is natural for us.

Before My beloved S, I don’t think I really understood it before and this, is perfect.

We laugh, play games together, watch movies, chat about anything and everything, yet with a click of My fingers. It all changes. My beloved S is always Mine. Always. Yet the protocol level changes.

I am so incredibly blessed.

Switches can’t be Dominant.

Do you like my clickbait as fuck title? 😉

I utterly disagree with the subject. Switches can be Dominant, and some of the best Dominants I have ever encountered have been switches.

I’ve received some comments on and off about switches not being Dominant or not fitting into an idiot’s limited view of Domination. If some of them read through my blog entries they would be able to see that they questions had already been answered, several times, in fact. I’ve been into BDSM in varying degrees since I was about sixteen. Yes, I was underage and no I absolutely do not recommend it to anyone.

Switches can be Dominant.

Switches can be submissive.

Why is it so hard for people to understand that people can be variable? They don’t need to fit into little boxes to suit your limited world view. Every switch is different. Just like every Dominant is different. And every submissive is different.

 

Here is a loose summary of some different switches that I have met over the years.

  • Some sub to only one partner.
  • Some Dom only one partner.
  • Some are submissive to one gender yet Dominate with another.
  • Some are submissive to a particular race.
  • Some are Dominant for certain kinks and others are submissive.
  • Some switch about 50% of the time.
  • Some lean towards Dominant.
  • Some lead towards submissive.

 

Now there are a variety of reasons why some people switch. Here are some that I have heard and I would like to share. To be fair, some of these could be applied for topping/bottoming as well and there is some overlap.

  • It is a need they have.
  • They are able to learn fresh skills and get refreshers for various things.
  • It helps them get into their submissive’s head better.
  • Denying one part of themselves would be lying about who they are.
  • They do not like the restrictive mindset that some kinksters have and are open to a variety of experiences.
  • It feels right for them.

 

This isn’t quite the same thing. I have heard that some people think that were submissives cannot make good Dominants. I can understand while some Dominants don’t align with being submissive, and that is perfectly okay. Again. Why limit other people to your own view of the world? I think part of this comes from an ignorant standpoint about how submissives are viewed.

A baby wears size 00 clothes and it fit for them. No-one in the right mind would expect an adult to wear it. So why do people try to put a label on them that has not fit for some time?

It makes absolutely zero sense.

Growth and change is a thing.

Okay… I swear, no more ranting today.

Online D/s moving to RL D/s

I’ve already written about online Domination here. Check it out if you are interested how I choose to do it. There are many different styles and avenues of doing online D/s. Although that isn’t quite what this blog entry is going to be about. What happens when the online world begins to move into move into the real one?

For some people the online realm is a place of fantasy. With no intention or desire to expand outside it. But for some? It changes and evolves. There are a lot of differing opinions about whether or not it is worthwhile. That is a question only you can answer for yourself.

The transition for My beloved S and I is going to be great one. I own him already. He belongs to Me and he is mine. Yet there is an ocean between us. There are relationship issues and matters concerning child support with him. There are many smaller issues that will take time to be sorted out. You know, the more boring but essential things in life such as; bills, health insurance, and dealings with vanilla family members. There is a strong chance S’ son will be there at least some of the time. While my mother will likely live with us as she ages. Our relationship combines M/s and vanilla elements together.

Then there would be learning about all of his health concerns. Would he be willing to kneel at My feet of hours? Of course, and he would love too. However, My slave has bad knees to put into consideration for his health and well being.

What will happen will be a review of health and limits. Things will need to go slow in order to build up towards the goal of having a 24/7 dynamic. My slave (and I) have both been working on our physical and mental health so when we do meet each other for the first time we are ready.

Communication. Making sure the pair of you are on the same page is vital.

I also recommend that if you are planning on meeting someone to follow safety steps. This is not to prevent you from getting physically hurt but to understand what sort of thing is involved.

I have no doubt there will be extremely kinky moments. I already have plans on how I am going to train him to be My perfect slave. Although there will be a lot of love and tender moments. I’ve had some criticism for this. At first, this sort of thing would bother Me a lot. Like the discrimination that a lot of switches face although that is another journal entry that I could write a lot about. (And technically, I haven’t made a journal entry specifically about that and I hope to fix that sometime soon.)

I have already written up a preliminary draft of the protocols and rules I will expect him to live by as My slave. It is more likely it will start as more of a D/s than a M/s scenario until My S is ready for the change, and well, to make sure he has earned it!

Anyway, I have to focus on revising for this damn exam and getting my last assignment done. All the best everyone!

Female Led Relationship — Only way for me.

The recent months have been incredibly when it comes to our relationship, and I feel about things in general. I don’t think I could ever go back to a vanilla relationship again. In FLR, I am happy and I have grown through it. It feels normal. It feels right. If you had of asked me years ago whether this relationship is what I want. I would have said no or ummed and ahhhed about it. You know when you have that “ohhh now I get it” moment? I’ve had it.

I haven’t read my earlier entry about female domination in a while. Yet  those who are interested are welcome to view it here.

I’ve had issues with accepting some parts of it. I’m highly sentimental when it comes to the past. This growth does not and will never erase the past of the earlier parts of the relationship. I still consider myself to be a switch. Years ago it used to be 50/50. Now? It is more akin to 95% Dominant and 5% submissive. Part of accepting who I am has been a longer road than I previously thought. Where is My sub side now? Well, I’m not sure. A part of me was scared to lose the dynamic that was part of the reason why My beloved S and I got together in the first place. It is still there. I need to have some time to reflect on this. Part of taking care of this side of me is to keep me happy and pleased. Happy wife, happy life. As the saying goes.

I’ve noticed a change in the way I speak to him. I ask for his opinion and thoughts. Yet I am the one who sets the tone for the relationship. What I say goes. Since then we have both been happier. There are times when I make him do things I know he doesn’t necessarily want to do. The combination of feelings. I can hear the change in his voice when it happens.

The submission and the peace he feels through it.

His submission at times has amazed me, and at first, frightened me a little. Now? Not at all.

It is Mine and belongs to Me.

Advice for Minors — BDSM

Like many people who are interested in BDSM. It started at an early age. I can’t give specifics but I fantasied about tying people up and being tied up in turn. My sexuality was a little strange as a child. I wouldn’t say my parents were overly conservative. If I had any questions, they answered them. We learned how to talk about our body parts. Private parts was used. Although we were encouraged to say the proper names and understood that these were parts of our bodies. By my early teens I had issues from being sexually abused and it caused a considerable amount of inner conflict for me. Although from the outside? I was happy and normal. Although I started to comfort eat and it puzzled my parents at the time.

My fascination with BDSM led to me writing fanfiction (good lord, I am not showing anyone. Burn it in the flames), watching porn, thinking about it and otherwise wanting to do it. The internet was an amazing place for me. I had made several friends already.

I made a dating profile on an adult website when I was fifteen years old. I was already sexually active by that age, and wanting to do more. I had some play with boyfriends already but nothing serious. I remember what it felt like. I wanted to know more. I wanted to experience it and everyone was telling me that I was too young.

Except a few people.

Looking back, I’m beginning to wonder whether it was grooming and it very well could have been. I’m lucky that I didn’t die in the process.

My Advice for Underage people.

  • Writing and reading about BDSM is okay. There is nothing wrong or shameful about doing it at a younger age. Journaling is a fun way to do it. Although it may raise a few eyebrows if you parents ever find it.
  • Learn about safety.
  • Remember that you don’t know everything. Hell, you have a lot to learn.
  • No. You are not a fucking Master/Mistress. Shut the flying fuck up right now.
  • Do not participate in communities. Although I do wonder whether a seminar or advice for those 16 years and up would work. I’m not sure of the legalities and I’m not encouraging anyone to participate with them.
  • Be patient. I know, I know.. I fucking hating hearing it, too. Wait until you are eighteen and go to a munch for the first time. You are not obligated to do anything with anyone. It is a good starting point for you.
  • Learn the ins and outs of what is considered acceptable behaviours or not.
  • Read blogs. Such as mine (shameless plug) although really, read a lot of different blogs.
  • Learn about your body. Enjoy it. If you can’t say names of parts or functions, start with those things.

There are probably more but my brain is fried today.

I hope everyone is doing well.