Switches can’t be Dominant.

Do you like my clickbait as fuck title? πŸ˜‰

I utterly disagree with the subject. Switches can be Dominant, and some of the best Dominants I have ever encountered have been switches.

I’ve received some comments on and off about switches not being Dominant or not fitting into an idiot’s limited view of Domination. If some of them read through my blog entries they would be able to see that they questions had already been answered, several times, in fact. I’ve been into BDSM in varying degrees since I was about sixteen. Yes, I was underage and no I absolutely do not recommend it to anyone.

Switches can be Dominant.

Switches can be submissive.

Why is it so hard for people to understand that people can be variable? They don’t need to fit into little boxes to suit your limited world view. Every switch is different. Just like every Dominant is different. And every submissive is different.


Here is a loose summary of some different switches that I have met over the years.

  • Some sub to only one partner.
  • Some Dom only one partner.
  • Some are submissive to one gender yet Dominate with another.
  • Some are submissive to a particular race.
  • Some are Dominant for certain kinks and others are submissive.
  • Some switch about 50% of the time.
  • Some lean towards Dominant.
  • Some lead towards submissive.


Now there are a variety of reasons why some people switch. Here are some that I have heard and I would like to share. To be fair, some of these could be applied for topping/bottoming as well and there is some overlap.

  • It is a need they have.
  • They are able to learn fresh skills and get refreshers for various things.
  • It helps them get into their submissive’s head better.
  • Denying one part of themselves would be lying about who they are.
  • They do not like the restrictive mindset that some kinksters have and are open to a variety of experiences.
  • It feels right for them.


This isn’t quite the same thing. I have heard that some people think that were submissives cannot make good Dominants. I can understand while some Dominants don’t align with being submissive, and that is perfectly okay. Again. Why limit other people to your own view of the world? I think part of this comes from an ignorant standpoint about how submissives are viewed.

A baby wears size 00 clothes and it fit for them. No-one in the right mind would expect an adult to wear it. So why do people try to put a label on them that has not fit for some time?

It makes absolutely zero sense.

Growth and change is a thing.

Okay… I swear, no more ranting today.


30 thoughts on “Switches can’t be Dominant.

  1. LoL Rant away!
    I love how a ‘community’ that says they don’t get enough open minded understanding is the first in line to close mindedly dismiss a new way of being … The irony kills me! πŸ˜€

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Exactly! I’ve started challenging people with these sorts of mindsets and usually they are shocked when it happens.

      It tends to be more noticeable with male Dominants (although I have seen female Dominants do it too). A lot of vanilla rl sexism seems to seep into BDSM.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Truthfully, the most drama I have experienced has not been from vanilla friends, it has been from BDSM lifestylers who have titles and such. The ones who think they know it all and the ‘right’ way to do things.
        The only vanilla resistance I have seen is when someone forces their ideals on them, I would do the same, and I’m not vanilla.
        Sure there are fanatics in all walks of life but the ‘vanilla’ folk seem to be quite happy to let us be as long as we don’t stuff it down their throat. that’s the same we want from them, is it not? LoL
        You may have just inspired a post for tomorrow Lady Clio! I guess we’ll see!
        The BDSM world needs more bloggers like you! Keep ranting lady! *grin*

        Liked by 3 people

      2. Ohhh, I didn’t quite mean issues with vanilla friends. Although it has happened and I see what you mean with the attitudes that some people have. I mean the bullshit attitude that a submissive man is not really a man and all women are secretly submissive. -rolls eyes-

        I’m looking forward to reading your post and seeing what you have to say. And I will absolutely be ranting more! ❀ πŸ˜€

        Liked by 3 people

  2. So I’m not going to lie, I read the title and I was about to go off on you! LOL then I read the post. And I agree with you, as a switch, I am one of those people who likes both ends of the spectrum and sub for men and dom for women.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Ohhh your title had me foaming a little πŸ˜›

    Would you believe someone today told me a “true switch” only switches with one person?

    I swear, switches get all the juicy stigmas don’t they?

    Liked by 3 people

      1. TELL ME ABOUT IT. Some fool in a facebook group.

        This is also the same group I got banned from today for being elitist on the grounds that I told someone who believes a dominant doesn’t need training is dangerous thinking and a good way to get someone hurt.

        People will go to the ends of the earth to protect their warped view on the LS. I swear.

        Liked by 3 people

  4. I’m not into labels. People are peopleβ€”that is to say, variable. We have different wants and needs and choose all sorts of ways to express them. I’m not going to tell someone they are doing it wrong. Who am I to tell anything be that?? Good post Lady Clio!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I love this. Love love love this. As a switch with a switch in a dynamic I think it’s great to be able to move about like that, back and forth. I was on a site where a lot of ppl disliked switches. My goal was opening their eyes. I accomplished it with someand that is all that mattered to me.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Most of my life has been spent on trying to fit into a mould. I had it down pat. I found my S. and he wasn’t interested in any mould. We dug a bit deeper and I found a hint of Switch in me which S. really liked. It gave me backbone. I read your title and thought I must be doing it wrong… hey presto I’m not!!!!!! Thank you Lady Clio for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

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